what have I become?

So because of all this and the stuff I cant write I have become a pain in the arse. My partner has to make tea more and more nights because I get shitter and shitter at doing anything. I go out less and less days when before I would have been fighting my ass off to keep doing what my kids needed me to do. I would be stressing out in my head but I would take them to the park, libary out for some dinner or to see friends. Now I have to rely on my partner or my mum to do it. What the chuff is all that about? My mum could barely go out of the house before herself. I had to gradually take her out more often and for longer and futher. She had sinked so she couldnt do anything anymore excpet sob at my sisters grave. Now she is the one that has to deal with her daughter being a waste of space. I should be looking after her still not leaning on her to help me with the children I chose to have. Its all wrong and its all crap.