Monday 26 January 2009

I really cant cope anymore.

I really do give up. Its all too much. How am supposed to stop the sucicidal thoughts? How am I supposed to cope with the bad thoughts and the being to scared to go anywhere if there is no stability anywhere. The house isnt secure, the person that is supposed to love me dosent. Where do I go from here? When do I ever get the calm I so desperatly need? I really dont know how much longer I can go on lije this. I have noone to talk to. Nowhere to turn. How can I ever make things better? I really cant cope anymore.
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1 comment:

  1. Robert26 January 2009 at 16:08

    Hi there tulips&roses -

    Thanks for visiting my blog.

    I've read all of your blog. I can see that you're writing for therapeutic reasons. Nothing wrong with that – I started off for that reason too. If you stick with your blog, you'll build up a circle of friends, many with problems similar to you own. The good thing about blog friends - they do not judge.

    About me – I'm also a non-believer (in gods of any sort). I had a foster child who died in his sleep. SIDS it's called here – sudden infant death syndrome – where there is no explanation for the death – so I know a little about what you're going through. I'm totally against violence of any sort.

    I can help you with your nits problem. I've had to deal with them from time to time for over 30 years. My 3 year old got infested again last week (probably from nursery school), so I'll be doing what I'm suggesting that you do. First of all, it takes nits 2 – 3 days to grow into lice, and then they lay their eggs (nits). So if you nit comb everyone in the house every 2 days, the nits will never grow into adults and you will never have lice. It's easier to do this with hair conditioner in the hair, and wash out afterwards. No special treatments are necessary – don't waste your money. Normally after about 2 weeks your problem will have disappeared, but in your case you will have to continue doing this until your stepson stops visiting you while infested.

    About your own problems – I might be able to help you with them, but I'd rather discuss this by email than post it on your blog as a comment. If you're interested, send me an email. My address is on my blog. Click on my profile & you'll find it there. Here are a couple of things to start you off -

    You're as worthwhile a person as anyone else. Believe it!
    Don't feel guilty about hitting your dad – he deserved it.
    Don't feel guilty about having your mother support you – it takes her mind off her sad thoughts and helping you makes her feel useful. You're probably doing her a world of good!
    Don't feel guilty about not protecting your sisters & brothers – you did the best you could – and you should not have had to do that in the 1st place
    Your late sister didn't suffer. Dying in your sleep is the best way to go – you don't know that it is happening. It is the survivors who suffer.

    I'll be following your blog, so now you have at least one person to talk to.

    Best wishes,

    Robert

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