How do you move on from a relationship that no matter how hard you try wont get better. When you stand in front of the only man you have ever loved and beg and plead him to please listen. Beg him to realise that it has to get better. Ask him to listen to why you are hurting. Tell him he really needs to listen or it has to be the end and he just ignores you. He stands there listening to you in tears and sees you shaking and refuses to look at you and refuses to speak to you. Or on the off chance that he does reply all you get is a "fuck off and leave me alone". You cant do anything from that. There is no love there. There is not even like but how do you move on? How do you move on when you have your whole life planned as a family together. When you have the children to consider and when you just presumed you would grow old together. How do you start again. How do you start again when its not your plan? When your plan is that you are all a family together and you are there for one another. That your dreams and aspirations involved us all being together, how do you start again?
I really dont know anymore and I am so fed up. I start to feel like things are going to be better and I can deal with things better and then something knocks me for six and I cant do it again. I really am starting to wonder whether I can love my partner anymore in what feels like an unriquited relationship. Its all one sided with me loving him and him feeling nothing but hatred for me. How did I fall into that trap? How did I end up in such a loveless relationship? Now how do I make it better. How do I make it better for the kids. Splitting up dosent just affect us it affects them. It will hurt them the most. We are the adults. They are little children suffering the consequences of our actions. How do I make it right?
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